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Genesis of a Historical Novel

Monday, June 05, 2006

proof of life

Too much time has slipped by: I'd better log at least a short post to show that I'm not deceased.

I'm not sure whether I am legitimately more busy than I have been in the past (there have been things to occupy me lately, such as strata business--preparing for our AGM this month--and also some other, copywriting work coming in), or whether it is a sign of resistance.

I'm very familiar with the phenomenon of resistance from my training in meditation, where reluctance to meditate is one of the hallmarks of the practitioner. We were taught to see resistance as a sign of engagement with the practice; the more you suffer with resistance, the stronger your relationship with the practice is. It's like standing in a river, refusing to go with it: pushing against the current takes work, and the stronger the current, the more work it takes. Simpler, of course, just to give up and go with it: let the current take you.

Buddhist teacher Ken McLeod, in his Wake Up to Your Life, says this about resistance (he calls it "unwillingness"):

We avoid meditation for specific reasons. To discover the reasons, first establish a definite time and place for meditation. Every day at the set time, go to where you practice and stand there until one of two things happens: either you know exactly why you aren't going to practice that day, or you sit down and practice. In a week or two, this exercise will expose at least one of the reasons underlying your unwillingness to practice.

Maybe I should come down and stand here at about 3 p.m. each day and find out something about myself.

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