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Genesis of a Historical Novel

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

your date with...

Yes, I'm having a hard time coming up with ideas for blog-posts (even if it doesn't seem like it). I think it's at least partly due to the fact that my sense of my own work is changing. I feel less and less that what I'm doing makes me part of any kind of identifiable group--even of "writers". Like a dreamer or a psychotic, I wander ever deeper into a solitary world, from which communication can serve no purpose except to indicate just how separated from my society I have become.

Does that sound depressed? I'm not. Far from it: I feel quite good. How about psychotic--am I that? I don't think so, but then, it's probably not my call to make. As a citizen I seem to be functioning OK, which should keep me free from involuntary hospitalization.

The journey, then, is long, and it is solitary. In a way, though, it is thrilling, for what could be richer and more exciting than to be off any beaten track, away from any conventional path? Of course there are no social gains to be had on such a journey--no fame, no prestige, no riches--for these accrue only to those whose status, whose position, is recognized. There's no audience for the solitary trekker in the forest: only the trees, the birds, and whatever creatures move through the dark brush, still innocent of human contact. You trek into the woods for your date with reality, with your self.


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2 Comments:

  • Hi,

    I am a writer from India who has been reading your blog for almost a year after stumbling upon it.

    I find that you write with a lot of clarity, willing to be vulnerable. I identify a lot with your stage in life as I myself am struggling to write a novel that I am proud of. Just like you, I am reading a lot, collecting material, yet hesitating to dive deep inside.

    At some level, I am wondering whether this is some kind of avoidance as I know that if I continue like this, the novel is unlikely to get written. I am 45 and feel time running out if I don't get into the nitty grites soon.

    Please keep writing your blog as you are sure a source of inspiration to me and could be to many other readers.

    Affectionately
    Suresh

    By Blogger Suresh, at June 17, 2008 9:48 AM  

  • Hi Suresh. Many thanks for your words of appreciation and support--they mean a lot.

    Speaking for myself, there's plenty of avoidance, but also plenty of engagement with the project too. I've engineered my life around my project, so the avoidance tactics become very obvious--and of course dispiriting at times.

    Keep at it--and best of luck.

    By Blogger paulv, at June 17, 2008 10:45 AM  

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